


Cookies and Broken Soldiers

by barbex



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: After the Reaper War, Baking, Cookies, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-09-19 20:13:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17008443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barbex/pseuds/barbex
Summary: After the Reaper war: Baking Christmas cookies at the Shepard-Alenko household can lead to unexpected insight for old and broken soldiers. This life is worth living for.





	Cookies and Broken Soldiers

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xenowriter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xenowriter/gifts).



> Written for the End of Year exchange at the Mass Effect Creative Circle for xenowriter. Happy New Year!

* * *

 

* * *

 

"Do we have everything?" 

Shepard stares at the mountains of groceries as if she expects them to attack her at any moment. She leans on her crutch, favoring her left side, but her face looks relaxed. Kaidan knows every single line of tension in her face and always knows if she is in pain. Today she isn't. At least not more than it is to be expected if the Citadel fell on you.

"Yes, I'm pretty sure we got everything," Kaidan says. He starts taking flour, sugar and more out of the boxes and piles them up on the counter. "If anything is missing, we'll tell Liara and Javik to pick it up on the way."

"I hope this doesn't turn into a disaster," Shepard says, slipping onto the barstool and leaning her crutch against the wall. "I don't think they had cookie baking sessions in the prothean army." 

Kaidan cleans the counter so that they have a place to work. "He doesn't have to make cookies if he doesn't want to."

"Liara said that he closed himself up. She can't reach him."

Kaidan looks up but doesn't say anything. He doesn't have to.

Shepard rolls her eyes and grins at him. "I know, I know, sounds familiar."

"Yes, it does," Kaidan says with a chuckle but then his face turns serious. "It was like you weren't even alive. You just... existed." 

"I remember feeling numb and empty. And useless. I was horrible to you, how could you stand it?"

Kaidan comes over to her and puts his hands on either side of her face. "I knew it would all be worth it in the end." He presses a soft kiss on her lips. "I knew you'd come around. You came back to me and I was not going to give up on you."

"How do I even deserve you?" Shepard whispers and kisses him back.

Kaidan pulls back with a smile. "Saving the galaxy was a good first step but you know what did it?"

"What?"

"Saving this house." He spreads his arms to encompass the whole of his family's house. "Without this house, not sure if I had been willing to — "

"Oh, shut up, you!" she yells at him and pulls him back into a real kiss. His arms wrap around her, holding her close and warm and they melt into each other. She pulls back for a breath, licking her lips. "I love you, you damn annoying Canada boy."

Kaidan smiles at her. "I love you too, you marvelous hero girl of the stars."

Shepard pushes him back and laughs. "Now you did it, you found the worst nickname. It's done, we can never see each other again."

Kaidan presses his hand to his chest in mock pain. "Oh, how you wound me, girl of the stars!" He grabs a wooden spoon and puts it between his teeth as if it's a rose. "Pleawthe, wo noth forthake me!" 

Shepard laughs so hard, she falls off the chair and Kaidan has to catch her. He tumbles over backwards, her in his arms and bumps his head against the counter.

"Ouch," he manages to press out over giggles.

Shepard wipes laugh tears from her eyes. "Are you okay?" she asks between laughing and trying to catch her breath.

Kaidan pulls her close and looks her in the eyes. "Never better," he says and kisses her again. 

Their kisses always start slowy, carefully, but soon the hunger, the desire overcomes them. The world falls away, leaving only their bodies wrapped around each other, kissing the other as if they could disappear any moment.

"Should we come back later?" 

Liara looks over the counter with a smile and a blush on her cheeks.

Shepard scrambles to get up, Kaidan discreetly helping her to avoid putting her weight on her bad side. 

"Liara," Shepard says, "how did you get in?" 

"I may still have an access code from back when..."

When Shepard had needed all the help she could get, right after she got out of the hospital and her friends had done everything they could to help her. Without them and without Kaidan believing in her, she wouldn't be here today, of that she is sure.

"I'm so glad to see you," Shepard says, limping around the counter to pull her friend into a hug. 

"Javik," she says to the figure standing back in the shadow. "Come here, it's good to see you too." 

The prothean is reluctant to leave the shadow but eventually walks over to the counter and bows to Shepard. "Commander, it's good to see you up."

"I've been up for a while now, thanks to modern medicine," Shepard says and puts her hand on Javik's shoulder. The prothean man doesn't wear his armor anymore but he still covers his skin with several layers of fabric. Shepard knows that he doesn't like to be hugged and that he only allows Liara to touch his skin. 

Shepard bows her head towards him before she removes her hand again. She gives Liara a nervous glance, she still isn't sure how much Javik is willing to allow in human interaction. 

But Liara smiles at her, so it probably was alright. Shepard limps back to her barstool and settles on it with a sigh. The pain is a dull throb in the background that never really goes away but when she sits like this, she is almost pain free.

"Today we want to make cookies, Christmas cookies to be precise."

Javik snorts and blinks his four eyes. "Is that valuable work for a warrior?"

Kaidan sprinkles flour onto the counter. "Warriors need food just like anybody else and cookies are the best food."

Shepard nods and exchanges a look with Liara. "Let's make some dough." She thinks about telling Javik that he doesn't have to join them but decides against it. When she had been lost in the darkness of her mind, she took every out, every turn that isolated her the most. It had not been good for her and she won't give Javik that kind of out.

Liara, Kaidan and Shepard wash their hands quickly in the kitchen sink but Javik makes more of a production of it. He fills the sink with water and rests his arms in it, gently moving his hands in it. They let him be, they all remember this ritual from his place on the Normandy.

Kaidan measures the ingredients, mixes them up roughly and then hands Liara and Shepard a ball of dough to knead. There is a fourth portion sitting on the counter, waiting for Javik and occasionally he glances at it.

They knead the dough while they talk. Liara tells them of her current project, making the communications networks more efficient, Shepard tells of her recent visits in the orphanage and Kaidan has a story about a General who fell asleep at the last Council meeting. All the while, Javik's dough sits on the counter, untouched. 

Javik still has his hands in the water but he isn't moving them anymore. He looks over his shoulder sometimes and he's obviously listening to them. Shepard almost turns to talk to him but a tiny head shake from Kaidan stops her. So they keep chatting, laughing about some funny story, kneading the dough all the while.

Shepard feels more than sees how Javik leaves the sink and comes up to her at the counter. He takes the ball of dough in his hands and watches Liara, eventually copying how she kneads it. Concentration draws lines on his face and they fall silent as they watch him. He works the dough in precise, efficient movements, like he does everything. 

Javik holds his hand up and looks at it, at the pieces of dough sticking to the skin. "This is... enjoyable," he says with a deep tremor in his voice.

"Good," Shepard says and gives him a smile. Kaidan wraps her dough in foil and puts it in the refrigerator, next to his and Liara's dough. 

"Should I stop?" Javik asks.

"No," Kaidan says, "take your time, there's no need to rush the dough."

Kaidan gets glasses and a bottle of wine and hands Liara and Shepard each a filled glass. He puts Javik's glass on the counter, next to his working area, "Would you like water or do you want to try the wine?" he asks. 

Javik looks up, blinking. Usually he only drinks water. He holds his dough up for Kaidan to see. "Is this satisfactory?"

Kaidan inspects the perfectly round ball of dough and nods. "Yes, it looks perfect. It just needs to cool for a bit and then we can make the cookies." 

Javik hands him the dough and then holds out his glass. "I would like to try the wine."

Shepard takes the bottle from Kaidan and fills Javik's glass, then holds out her own glass. "Cheers."

Liara clinks her glass against Shepard's and Javik does the same after watching her. 

He takes sip of his wine and his nose begins to twitch. "That is a strange taste. Of old fruits and decay." 

"Accurate," Shepard says. "But it has turned into something new."

Javik walks over to the window overlooking the orchard, now covered with snow. Shepard grabs her crutch and walks over to him with her glass. 

"The garden will be alive again when the snow is gone?" Javik asks.

"Yes, the snow will melt and then slowly the plants will get green again and seeds will sprout somehow." Shepard gives him a helpless smile. "You should ask Kaidan about all of that, I've been in space too long." 

"Old things become new," Javik says. "Like this wine."

"And like old warriors." Shepard looks at him. "We are alive, Javik, we made it. Now let's make something of it." 

Javik turns to look at her. "And making cookies is something?"

Shepard grins. "Yes, cookies worthy of old warriors."

Something like a smile plays around Javik's lips and he inclines his head towards her. He walks over to Liara, puts his glass on the table and takes Liara's hand, placing it on his cheek. A connection.

"Love," Javik says, "I'm here."

Liara gasps and blinks tears away. "Yes, you are." 

Shepard feels Kaidan's presence next to her before he slides his arm over her back. 

"You did it," Kaidan says. 

"I think it was the garden, not me."

"Nonsense, marvelous girl of the stars, it was you." 

Shepard suppresses a giggle. "I told you that's a terrible nickname." 

Kaidan gives her a kiss on her temple. "No, it's lovely, just like you." He doesn't wait for her to react and goes back to the kitchen counter. "Let's make some cookies." 

Kaidan puts the dough back on the counter and sprinkles it with flour. He uses the rolling pin to flatten the first piece and Shepard uses cookie cutters to make the first batch of cookies. 

Liara and Javik still stand lost in their connection, smiling at each other.

"Should we call them over?" Shepard wonders.

"Naw, give them a bit of time." He looks up to her and smiles. "I'm so glad you're here, with me."

Shepard turns deep red. "I love you."

"I love you too." Kaidan leans forward and kisses her.

"You're squishing the cookies," Shepard whispers against his lips.

"I don't care."

Shepard grins. "They're warrior cookies, they can have some imperfections."

Kaidan looks at her, a serious expression rushing over his face, before a smile chases it away. "Yes, they can. They'll still be perfect."

  
  
  



End file.
